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Betrayed. Devastated. Crushed. The aftermath of an affair. Your pain is coupled with rage and bewilderment that this person you loved and trusted could have inflicted such suffering on you. All the tenderness, all the vows and commitment. You feel they’ve been totally annilhilated. That there’s no possible way to continue.
But there is. If you truly care. And are willing to forgive and move forward. If you can view the affair as a temporary detour on your relationship’s road. Why throw away everything you’ve shared? Why let one “wrong turn” send you into the ditch?
But remember it would be mistake to try to “go back” to the way things were. The “happier times.” The relationship’s “good old days.” Now is the time to go forward.To repair the ruptured bond. And, most importantly, make it stronger!
Of course, it won’t be easy. But nothing worth doing is. Yes, there will be the memory of the affair,the tormenting images,the negative thoughts. But if you accept the reality that renewing your relationship is a process, you’ll discover more strength and love in the bond between you than you ever thought possible. Though it may be difficult to imagine now.
Here is where you start :
1.Make sure you are “on the same page.” Define your terms so that there is no possible “other” interpretation of your discussions.
2.Next, communicate clearly what upsets you and why. This is the basis for beginning the healing.
3.Write down the issues you’ve agreed need to be worked on. This will ensure you both stay “on track.”