Don’t go to strangers.That’s a phrase we’re all famiiar with. Especially when it comes to advice. And, usually it’s good counsel. But not in the case of relationship problems.
If you’re in or suffering through an affair, the natural inclination is to seek comfort from those you trust and love. Your friends. Your immediate family. This is not a good route to take.
Here’s why. While your”inner circle” obviously has your best interests at heart, and would do anything to help you, their “advice” can only hurt, not help.
Why? For the simple reason they are projecting their own experiences(or even worse, lack of them) onto yours. Apples and Oranges. No similiarity. Oh, yes, they will say “been there -done that.” Fair enough. But not with your partner. Not in your circumstances. Not with your relationship history.
Yes of course their will be similiarities. But not an exact match of all the elements specific and particular to your situation.
Their experiences, prejudices – their “emotional baggage” is an unecessary and decidedly unproductive weight for you to carry around. Don’t go there!
Instead, ask the person who knows the intimate details of your problem. The one who has the experience and knowledge specific to your situation. The one who knows you more intimately than your own family. You know who that person is, do you not?
That’s right. IT’S YOU! Look inside. In your “secret heart.” Look past the heartbreak. Past the re-crimination. Past the betrayal. Past the nightmare affair images.
And after you’ve done that, after you’ve started to begin to cope with your new reality and all it’s new challenges – that is the time to go to a stranger. A professional stranger. And benefit from their expertise and experience.