When you’re in an airport and a plane crashes – do you blame yourself? Of course not. So then why do you blame yourself when your relationship crashes after an affair? It wasn’t you who betrayed the trust. It wasn’t you who was dishonest. So shouldering the blame for your partner’s bad behaviour is no more logical than assuming responsibility for the plane crash. Is it? Then why do it?
The simple truth is that emotions are not logical. They are exact opposites. Like oil and water, they don’t mix. But when you’re devastated by rejection and betrayal, the mind – your “rational” self – searches for a “logical” explanation.
And finding none, it concludes that you are responsible. That there must have been something lacking in you that led your partner to cheat.Some need un-fulfilled. Some desire unspoken.It finds you guilty of not “knowning the unknowable”.
Continuing to accelerate the vicious cycle of self-recrimination.Pulling you deeper and deeper into emotional quicksand.The more you struggle – the further you’re pulled down.
To escape this quicksand, to pull yourself free.To recover your mind and your self-repect is something that very few can do alone.
Professional help is essential. This excellent professional free affair guidance can provide that help.